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In Business, Explore, Lifestyle, Parenting on
May 25, 2020

3 THINGS PARENTS NEED TO DO TO HELP EMPOWER A CHILD WITH PERFECTIONIST TENDENCIES

By Ashley Anjlien Kumar, The Confidence Coach

Does your child get down on herself? Is she hard on herself? A ‘perfectionist’ child? 

Some parents have reached out to me to ask what they can do to help their child who they believe has perfectionist tendencies. As someone who grew up with a mother with perfectionist tendencies, I picked up those qualities too in many ways. It isn’t easy going into the adult world expecting and wanting things to be perfect from the start, and then realizing there will be many roadblocks, ‘plan B’s’ – which a perfectionist mostly hates, and even failures. — What? Failure? Aarrgh (running in the opposite direction…Right?)

I’ve been working on those tendencies since I was 19 years old and have worked to diminish the effects of these habits on my life. There are adults in their 60’s now trying to unravel their perfectionist habits so they can learn to enjoy life more. This is isn’t easy as we get older, so the sooner we start with young kids, the better off they will be in the long run.

There isn’t one single answer that will ‘fit’ each child because each child is unique. But here are some ways to help your child that will benefit her regardless, and will help to increase the connection in your relationship.

First, what are some signs of a perfectionist child?

  • Gives up easily after only 1 or 2 attempts of something,
  • Unable to overcome mistakes,
  • Has difficulty managing change,
  • Self-critical, self-conscious, or easily embarrassed,
  • Sensitive to criticism even if it’s constructive,
  • Anxiety about making mistakes,
  • Procrastinates or avoids challenging tasks,
  • Tendency to stay in comfort zone,
  • Emotionally and socially inhibited,
  • Critical of others,
  • Difficulty decision making…

These are just a few.

So what can you do?

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In Lifestyle, Parenting, Random Thoughts on
May 7, 2020

Mother’s Day DIY #TakeOverThursday

Coffee Grounds – Repurposing for Masks and More!

One of my favourite things to do is to use things I have around the house for multiple purposes. Almost everything has multiple purposes – Pinterest is an AMAZING example/rabbit hole of this – so when you are done with your coffee for its initial intended energizing properties, what else can it do for you?

I absolutely love this face mask for many reasons – coffee has potent antioxidant properties that can help protect your skin from sun damage, temporarily firm up the skin, and overall promote good skin health. All you need are a few things from the pantry, some used coffee grounds, and some self-care time. It’s also a great gift to mix up and pop in a self-care basket for a friend or a special mom in your life!

You’ll Need:

  • ½ Cup used coffee grounds (cooled)
  • ½ Cup unsweetened cocoa powder (organic if possible)
  • 1 Cup Whole Milk or Unsweetened Almond Milk
  • 1 Tbsp of Lemon Juice (fresh, not the fake stuff/If you have dry skin, substitute with Olive Oil or Almond Oil)
  • 1 Tbsp of Honey (for oily or acne prone skin, use additional lemon juice instead of honey)
  • A bowl

Directions:

Mix the coffee grounds and cocoa powder together in the bowl. Add milk and stir into a paste – use less if you want a thicker paste. Add in the lemon juice and honey, stir until you get the consistency you want – spreadable and thick but not overly gloopy or runny. Add more milk if it’s too thick, add more coffee grounds if it’s too thin. Apply to a clean, freshly washed face and allow to sit and dry for up to 20 mins. Rinse, dry, and moisturize as usual!

You can do this mask once a week (it’s especially great because of the firming properties before an event – when we get to go to them again) and you can keep the leftover mixture in an air-tight container in the fridge for about a week (smell it first – it’s the milk that will go off) – if you have any leftover, that is! It also makes an amazing scrub in the shower to help exfoliate, remove dirt, and dead skin cells on both your face and body.

Benefits of a Coffee Mask:

  • Coffee beans reduce redness and inflammation and can reduce the look of under-eye circles because it helps circulate blood flow.
  • Cocoa powder is high in sulfur, which helps fight acne. It’s also an amazing antioxidant!
  • Milk helps with hydration and that healthy “Glow”
  • Lemon Juice helps brighten, tighten and lighten with the power of Vitamin C
  • Honey is super moisturizing and the natural wax allows the skin to retain that hydration!

Keep those grounds! 

Coffee grounds are so multi-purpose. I usually keep them both wet (for masks, scrubs and gardening/indoor plants) and dry (just leave in a bowl and stir every so often to dry it out, for an easy mosquito repellant). Here are some more tips!

How to Use in your Garden

Mix wet/cooled coffee grounds in with your compost, organic materials, or into soil that needs a little extra acidity, like strawberries, radishes, peppers, parsley and sweet potatoes. A little in with your tomatoes is great too (as well as crushed eggshells) – just work about ¼ of a cup into the soil. If you have pets that might eat it, use less and really work it in so you don’t end up with over-caffeinated puppers. 

And those lemons that you juiced? Use the shells for easy seed starters – Just remove all the pulp from inside with a spoon, cut the bottom a bit so it stands up (but doesn’t make a hole), place in a tray (I love reusing berry containers for this purpose) fill with potting soil and add your seeds! When it’s time to add them to the garden, just poke a hole in the bottom, pop them into the holes and cover with dirt – it’s quick, easy + compostable!

For Mosquitoes/bugs – Burn those coffee grounds!

  • Start with DRY, used coffee grounds.
  • Place the grounds in a bowl or on a flat surface outside.
  • Burn the grounds like you would incense.
  • Choose a spot upwind for best results.
  • Keep away from places pets/children might hit or step on them.
  • Set up a few throughout your yard to maximize the effect!

As we learn to do more with less, and realize that many of the things we thought we needed… aren’t so necessary at all.. As we go back to nature and reusing and repurposing as alternatives for the things we can’t get as easily – not only are we returning to an all-natural way of life, but we are giving the earth a chance to heal.

Jeanie is a Mom, Master Aromatherapist and the Owner of WildRose Perfumery, where each scent is carefully blended and hand-crafted. Each creation is made specifically for you based on your personal tastes, with care and attention to every detail, with organic, natural materials and pure Essential Oils. Jeanie also hosts other local makers on her website! 

In Events, Health, Lifestyle, Parenting, Random Thoughts on
April 29, 2020

Ten Silver Linings to Self-Isolation

Negativity and fear seem to be a daily fixture in society right now.

I know I have had many sleepless nights and tumultuous days worrying about everything that is beyond my control.  In order to maintain sanity I have chosen to focus on what we still have, and some positive changes amongst all of this crazy Covid-19 chaos. Last night as my husband and I curled up with our glass of wine to watch the last episode of Tiger King, it dawned on me that this was the first Netflix series we had been able to watch in its entirety since the birth of our first daughter seven years ago! We have a million series we want to watch, but never the time to sit down and binge. This hiatus has allowed us the gift of trashy television viewing without guilt! So here are a few more silver linings I’ve been able to identify amongst one of the larger storm clouds of our lives.

#1 The excuse to wear crap clothing

For reasons unbeknownst to everyone, including myself, I have saved much of my childrens’ hole-y, ripped and slightly stained clothing. This is perfect, because now we can save our nicer and more socially acceptable wardrobes for the return to normalcy. As for now, its shredded leggings and mismatched socks all the way! 

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Dear Easter Bunny: It’s OK If You Want To Half-Ass It This Year

It’s a weird time. Days are blending together, time doesn’t matter, putting on real pants has gone by the wayside, and for most kids the severity of the situation has probably sunk in. They are missing friends and family, their activities, and the freedom to play in the park. Parents are struggling with working from home, layoffs, teaching their children, and more.

This isn’t easy.

So we wanted to write to the Easter Bunny and let him know that it’s OK to chill a bit this year.

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Free Resource: Fueling Brains

Yesterday the team at Fueling Brains reached out to Alberta Mamas about the platform they’ve launched in Calgary. You can check it out at www.FuelingBrains.com.

It’s an online tool for educators and parents, meant to support early childhood learning of your kids. They’ve been working in the child care space for nearly a decade as Kids U and they’ve put together a toolbox of activities and parenting resources based on the work of their educators and researchers.

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15 Ways for Mamas to Stay Sane During Covid-19

You are the glue keeping everything together right now. You set the tone for the ebb and flow of your family routines. You are constantly taking the emotional temperature of your child, children, and spouse. Now you are not only Mama but Mme. Mama, teacher as well as cook, nurse, maid, and your own person. And it is to this last point that I would like to touch on at this time. You. You must also rescue yourself right now, you must look after yourself, stimulate and nurture your spirit and mind at this moment that feels like we are trying to stay afloat swimming in a toxic soup of uncertainty.

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COVID-19 : 7 Guidelines for Parents Sharing Custody

Author: Lorraine Mlambo is an Edmonton based Family Lawyer.

COVID-19: Guidelines For Parents Sharing Custody

Like a thief in the night, we never saw this coming. The Covid-19 pandemic is the unseen common enemy that has wreaked unprecedented havoc around the world, leaving a trail of disaster, deaths, uncertainty, and confusion. This pandemic will undoubtedly pose a challenge for parents who are already separated or going through a separation and sharing custody during COVID-19.  To help parents through these trying times, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) and the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) have issued the following helpful guidelines:

BE HEALTHY.

Comply with all CDC and local and state guidelines and model good behavior for your children with intensive hand washing, wiping down surfaces and other objects that are frequently touched, and maintaining social distancing. This also means BE INFORMED. Stay in touch with the most reliable media sources and avoid the rumor mill on social media.

 

BE MINDFUL.

Be honest about the seriousness of the pandemic but maintain a calm attitude and convey to your children your belief that everything will return to normal in time. Avoid making careless comments in front of the children and exposing them to endless media coverage intended for adults. Don’t leave the news on 24/7, for instance. But, at the same time, encourage your children to ask questions and express their concerns and answer them truthfully at a level that is age appropriate.

BE COMPLIANT WITH COURT ORDERS AND CUSTODY AGREEMENTS.

As much as possible, try to avoid reinventing the wheel despite the unusual circumstances. The custody agreement or court order exists to prevent endless haggling over the details of timesharing. In some jurisdictions there are even standing orders mandating that, if schools are closed, custody agreements should remain in force as though school were still in session.

BE CREATIVE.

At the same time, it would be foolish to expect that nothing will change when people are being advised not to fly and vacation attractions such as amusement parks, museums and entertainment venues are closing all over the US and the world. In addition, some parents will have to work extra hours to help deal with the crisis and other parents may be out of work or working reduced hours for a time. Plans will inevitably have to change. Encourage closeness with the parent who is not going to see the child through shared books, movies, games and FaceTime or Skype.

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Saving My Sanity During Social Distancing

Normally, I work outside of the house and due to class cancellations I’m home with the kids. I honestly thought the Social Distancing (as per the awesome Dr. Henshaw’s suggestion) wouldn’t get to me.

Well, I was wrong.

It was 10am on the second day when I finally broke down. I cried, a lot. I cried for the people who are sick, I cried for the people who’ve died, I cried and cried and cried. And then, I heard my kids playing and I told myself I had to stop.

There are people out there on the front line – grocery workers, nurses, doctors, police, fire, 911 operators, the list goes on and on. Like all the memes say – We can stay home – for them and for everyone.

So I made myself a list of 5 things that I can do to save my sanity.

Live Yoga/Meditation

There are so many people offering free live, or affordable online memberships. I’ve been watching two in particular myself – Fitcityguide and Metta Yoga but I would LOVE to hear if you’ve found awesome resources!

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