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Discovering My “Weaknesses”

Have you ever done one of those personality tests?

A while ago I did the 16 Personalities Test  and it was terrifyingly accurate. Well, other than it saying I should have been a nurse or a teacher. Blood grosses me out and I’m just going to be honest here, sometimes, other peoples kids make me crazy. This will be a discussion about “weaknesses” but try not to think of that as a purely negative term.

I am a “Defender” or ISFJ, -A/-T. I’m Introverted yet naturally social, and very “Feeling”. I’ve actually discussed in a previous post how I am a Certified Sap so the feeling part makes total sense. And I’m in good company with moms Beyonce, Halle Berry and Kate Middleton being this personality type as well. Besides seeing the “Stars” I’m supposedly like, the really good thing about these tests is they get you thinking.

According to the test, my strengths include being supportive, reliable, observant, enthusiastic, loyal and hard working. Of course, I think I am all these things.

From a parenting point of view, with qualities like these, I should be set up for success right?


Now for the really fun part. Let’s move on to the “weaknesses“.


In the tests explanation of this it says “This is possibly Defenders’ biggest challenge, as they are so concerned with others’ feelings that they refuse to make their thoughts known,” Hello? I’m a mom. I have a lot of other people’s thoughts swirling all around me! Sometimes mine have to take a back seat.

Takes things too personally.

Abso-frigin-lutely. Ask ANYONE who knows me. I have a circle now that takes me in all my sensitive, high-maintenance glory and guess what? They’re pretty much all moms. And I appreciate them more because they love me just the way I am.

Repress their feelings.

Apparently I have a “lack of healthy emotional expression (that) can lead to a lot of stress and frustration.“. I don’t know WHAT they’re talking about. I have nothing but happy thoughts about everyone and everything……except you know, when the kids finally hit that button after a long, hard day.

Overload themselves

This is another one I think I’ve gotten better with as I age but really, what Mom doesn’t do this? We are everything to everyone the majority of the time. Am I right?

Reluctant to change.

A big company I worked for used to say we should “Embrace Change”. I honestly think there is nothing wrong with change…… long as it’s my idea or I am in complete control of it. Mmmmm k?

Too Altruistic

Again, what Mom isn’t “too altruistic”. We are the last people to ask for or accept help because we don’t want to burden anyone else with our problems. Sound familiar?

My biggest weaknesses will always be 2 little muffins smiles, and their voices when they say “I love you Mama”.

I can certainly see how working on some of my weaknesses could help me, I think they’re just who I am. They’re not always bad. And I think a lot of Moms can relate to them. But.

We should ask for AND accept help.

We should say no sometimes and not take on so much.

We should express our thoughts and feelings in the moment, not keep them inside.

We should try our best to separate personal from impersonal.

As for the change one…..jury is still out if I’m up for handing in my “control freak” badge. 😉

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