The pressure on a mom is unlike anything I believe. There is the old motivational quotes about diamonds being coal that did well under pressure. They turn out to be these beautiful things because so much pressure has been put on them.
I don’t know about you guys, but I think I would settle for a pretty rock found on the beach instead of a diamond. Worn smooth by the ever changing flow.
As women we have come so far. Even from just a hundred years ago. A Beyonce says in the song We Run The World, “we smart enough to make the millions, strong enough to bear the children, then get back to business.” Now I’m not one to argue with the Queen B herself of course, but this is the exact problem.
So much pressure to do it all.
- We should be great mothers.
- We should be awesome kick ass business runners.
- We should be gorgeous.
- We should have clean homes.
- We should be patient, kind, loving, understanding and strong.
- We should be amazing cooks and bakers.
- We should be top notch crafters.
- We should be able to mend worn clothing, sibling rivalry and broken hearts
As my teachers say “Stop shoulding on yourself”.
Mamas, we shouldn’t have to be all of these….. We don’t need to be. As much as our children may think we are superheros, we are not. Mere mortals. Mortals with metal, emotional and physical exhaustion.
But we continue. The pressure to do it all. Have it all. When is enough? YOU ARE ENOUGH NOW.
If we can take a moment to look at all the things we pressure ourselves to do and what honestly gives you love and what is something you “should” be doing maybe we can find a sweet spot somewhere in between called happiness?
A poem by Eckhart Tolle I find most women (myself included) love:
The pressure to do never stops, even when your schedule is empty, with every loose end tied up, even when you’ve guided every project to completion and you know you’ve earned the right to relax and relish in your achievements, at least for a while – but the pressure won’t let you rest.
The pressure is never satisfied like an animal with an endless appetite that devours every activity then hunts for more. It’s with you as soon as you wake up and keeps nagging and nudging throughout the day and sometimes keeps you awake at night whispering “there’s still so much to do,” reminding you of what you didn’t manage to do today and what waits to be done tomorrow.
The pressure to do convinces you that all this activity is necessary that the present only exists to serve the future, that moments are empty spaces that must be filled. That time is an enemy and your life is a constant battle and every achievement – even every completed task – a tiny victory.
But you don’t have to let that pressure push you – maybe you’ve done enough already. Maybe there’s nothing more to do apart from what is necessary. Maybe further achievements will only dilute what you’ve already done.
Stand firm and resist the impulse. Stand back and let the momentum fade. Relax and let the pressure pass you by, then guide yourself gently back to standstill like a train that slows and finally comes to a rest.
Then your life will open up like a landscape all around you and time will expand until there is no time at all, only free-flowing unbroken space.
Then the pressure to do will give way to the ease and grace of being.