I’m no stranger of not wanting summer to end. Every year I feel this certain kind of dread right around the end of August and refuse to embrace the PSL and cozy plaid until October. Summer is so fleeting in this part of the world (why would I ever want it to be cold?!) and the end of it always signifies the beginning of school. For the past 5 years this has been no huge deal, because I’ve been a mama casually working (mainly) from home. The extension of summer has been easy and blissful. Some years the weather has been nice enough that I could extend the summer vibes until October!
BUT, this year is different. This year my little sidekick won’t be with me anymore because he’s off to kindergarten. Being a December baby and choosing to start school “late” I am confident that we’ve got this. He’s 5 and a half, he’s been in lots of registered programs and did pre-K, he’s basically begging me to go to school…. Except last night, tossing and turning in bed, made me realize maybe its ME who doesn’t “got this”.
I’ve spent so much time preparing him for this next phase of life that maybe I’ve forgotten about preparing myself. That pit of the stomach anxiety is creeping in and I can’t help wondering if I’ve embraced my small child enough, rushed him too often through the most carefree part of his life & really gave myself time to just enjoy the young years of motherhood. Even though there’s a sense of FREEDOM there is a sense of LOSS.
This time next week, many of us will be heading off to Kindergarten class with our excited “babies”. On that day, please don’t forget about you, mama. It’s ok to feel sad or nervous or doubtful or scared. It’s ok to feel totally fine about it too. I say again, FREEDOM. Maybe, we can even allow ourselves to feel pride? Pride for this little human that we’ve managed to keep alive and well though all the phases of their, so far, tiny life. Pride that we’ve made it to the next leg of the journey and everyone will be ok. Pride that when that little hand leaves yours next week he or she will know what to do, because of you.
Kim Ouellette is a wife and mom to a 5 year old who lives in Edmonton, Alberta. She is passionate about travel and creating experiences with her family and friends, both throughout Alberta and beyond. You can find her on Instagram at @kimouelletteyeg.