3 Part Series… Part 2 , Part 1
Part 3: GIVE Skills/technique or appreciation-based praise & AVOID person, looks, or talent-based praise.
I had been called ‘fatty’ by some family members for a large part of my childhood years. I was actually within a healthy weight according to medical standards, but I started to believe deep down, I was ‘too fat’ (aka not good enough.)
But when I hit puberty, my body changed and one day I was suddenly ‘complimented’ by a female member of my extended family who said “Oh wow Ashley. You’re so skinny now. You’ve lost so much weight. You look great.”
I was 12 years old. I was floored. My mind jumped with excitement.
I had never been called ‘skinny’ before! Throughout my formative years I was told I was fat.
So, what happened? I glommed on to this new-found approval, beginning my infatuation with wanting to be skinny so I could retain the approval I was getting… The ‘fatty’ comments I got before were constantly telling me that I was “not good enough.”
Where did this land me?
Although some parts of the province have already *gasp* seen snow there is still time to do some leaf art with the kids. Not only is this easy to do the clean up is minimal! No glitter all over the house with this project.
This is also great activity to get you outside. Not only will you enjoy a walk you will get the opportunity to pause and look closely at different shapes, sizes and textures of the leaves with the kids.
What you need:
- leaves and twigs
- cardstock or other thick paper
- glue (I used a glue gun to make sure it stuck flat but white glue or a glue stick works too)
- On your walk collect different leaves and start thinking about what they could be.
- Arrange the leaves on the paper the way the child wants and glue the leaves and twigs down.
- Draw funny faces, legs, arms and other details on the leaf and around it.
This is one of the easiest fall activities and they make great artwork for the fridge!
What’s your favourite Farmers Market haul?
Featuring many local artisans who create unique items like candles, jewelry, woodwork, signs, bath bombs, skincare, flowers, paintings and so much more, Callingwood Farmers Market in Edmonton is just full of goodness.
Fresh and fun, there are so many amazing and healthy options at the market.
Growing up in a small town outside of Edmonton there was always one field trip we looked forward to the most – Fort Edmonton Park.
It was always in June close to the end of the school year when we packed into school buses with our pockets full of change to spend at the candy store. I still can’t walk into the park without thinking about those raspberry and lemon hard candies that came in the little brown paper bag. Even though the candy store was definitely the highlight when I was 10, I still credit Fort Edmonton Park and the way their incredible interpreters brought Canadian history to life for my love of the past.
Open Farm Days is an annual favourite for many connecting Albertans to their food sources: farmers. For some (myself included) we are generations removed from the family farm, and I have absolutely zero clue about farms, animals, electric fences (they’re a thing), and how they get cows to move to a new pasture. It’s completely mind-boggling to me.
Last week we were invited to Metis Crossing which is Alberta’s first major Metis Cultural Interpretive destination. Located about 1.5 hours North East of Edmonton by the Town of Smoky Lake, it is an easy day trip through some beautiful country.
With Covid cases rising we are on the lookout for more things to do with the kids that create a sense of “normal” for them without risking being exposed. We were reassured by the Metis Crossing staff that protocols have been put into place to still get the experience you want with the safety you need. Plus, with all of this online learning from home, the trip is kind of like a field trip!
By Ashley Anjlien Kumar, The Confidence Coach
Does your child get down on herself? Is she hard on herself? A ‘perfectionist’ child?
Some parents have reached out to me to ask what they can do to help their child who they believe has perfectionist tendencies. As someone who grew up with a mother with perfectionist tendencies, I picked up those qualities too in many ways. It isn’t easy going into the adult world expecting and wanting things to be perfect from the start, and then realizing there will be many roadblocks, ‘plan B’s’ – which a perfectionist mostly hates, and even failures. — What? Failure? Aarrgh (running in the opposite direction…Right?)
I’ve been working on those tendencies since I was 19 years old and have worked to diminish the effects of these habits on my life. There are adults in their 60’s now trying to unravel their perfectionist habits so they can learn to enjoy life more. This is isn’t easy as we get older, so the sooner we start with young kids, the better off they will be in the long run.
There isn’t one single answer that will ‘fit’ each child because each child is unique. But here are some ways to help your child that will benefit her regardless, and will help to increase the connection in your relationship.
First, what are some signs of a perfectionist child?
- Gives up easily after only 1 or 2 attempts of something,
- Unable to overcome mistakes,
- Has difficulty managing change,
- Self-critical, self-conscious, or easily embarrassed,
- Sensitive to criticism even if it’s constructive,
- Anxiety about making mistakes,
- Procrastinates or avoids challenging tasks,
- Tendency to stay in comfort zone,
- Emotionally and socially inhibited,
- Critical of others,
- Difficulty decision making…
These are just a few.
So what can you do?
There has been a lot of talk about supporting local as we deal with Covid-19. Local restaurants, food suppliers, and local stores.
One area that hasn’t been talked about as much is supporting local authors. Yes, we can all support local bookshops easily now but what about the local authors that write the books?
These are some of my favourite easy to grow perennials for zone 3a (Edmonton).
By Judith, Juicy Green Mom
I’ve lived in Edmonton my whole life and grew up with summer memories of sitting in a cherry tree and picking raspberries in my backyard. As an adult, I’ve begun to appreciate the joys of a beautiful garden. Because I’m also a bit of a lazy gardener, I love planting perennials that will come back year after year.
Annabelle Hydrangeas (feature photo)
Hydrangeas are my absolute favourite flowers, I even had them in my wedding bouquets. When I got the opportunity to landscape my backyard from scratch, I knew I wanted some kind of hydrangeas. I had Annabelle hydrangeas put into a raised bed and they have been producing beautiful round white bouquets of blooms for me for 10 years. They do well in sun to part shade with plenty of water.
My kids are 8 & 11 and are in Grade 3 & 6. Just like us sometimes they need a break. So I let them stay home from school even when they’re not sick.
We don’t over schedule (as much as we can with two active kids) but sometimes life piles up. Big family changes, busy weekends, changes in school, and growth spurts sometimes all pile up in one messy ball of emotion and they get to a point where they just cannot function.
So they get to stay home. No questions asked.
I will say that this does not happen often. We trust them to make a judgement call when they need it and this power has yet to be abused. So far in this school year the youngest has taken one day and the oldest has taken two. They are rarely sick (knock on wood) and although we travel occasionally they don’t often have to miss a ton of school.
I can usually tell as soon as they wake up that they are going to use the “free pass” that day. Sometimes they will wake up, start playing into it and talking about staying home but 99% of the time they perk up, eat their breakfast and continue on with their day. But the other 1%? They tell me they just need a day.
A day to stay in bed. Read. Build Lego while listening to their podcasts. Watch their favourite cartoons. Cuddle.
I know the privilege I have to be able to work from home and adjust to their needs. I am grateful I have kids who do not take advantage of this. I get that this will not work for every family.
But for us this works. And as they grow up and become adults I hope that they learn that it’s OK to take a day to recharge.
Deanne Ferguson is the owner of Box Social Event Planning. When she is not planning fun, family, friendly events she is finding the yummiest food for the Edmonton Home and Garden Show Food Stage. She loves her #cocktailMonday dates with her husband and chasing around her two boys. You can find her at @DeanneFerguson on Instagram and @BoxSocialYEG on Twitter