“The Only Thing That Stays The Same Is Everything Changes”
Lyrics from Mr. Tracy Lawrence’s Time Marches On.
If you think back on your life so far, how many changes have you gone through?
Big changes, little changes, they all directed your path in one way or another. As parents, we share in certain big changes. Getting pregnant changes your life – for both parents and as they get older our relationship with our children changes.
Does My Spouse Have a High Conflict Personality?
- Is your spouse rigid and uncompromising?
- Does your spouse have difficulty accepting and healing from loss?
- Do negative emotions dominate their thinking?
- Does your spouse have an inability to reflect on their own behavior?
- Does your spouse have difficulty empathizing with others?
- Is your spouse preoccupied with blaming others (mostly you)?
- Does your spouse avoid any responsibility for the problem or the solution?
If you answered ‘yes’ to most of these questions, then your spouse may have a High Conflict Personality. According to the High Conflict Institute, these are some of the patterns you see in a person with a high conflict personality.
My first born. This beautiful, tall, lean, long physique, gorgeous smile, thoughtful, patient, gooby sense of humour, mini-man. And promptly burst into tears. It has been such a surprisingly long road, it’s not over, but man!
Suddenly he’s 16 and adulthood is around the corner. For him! I can barely believe that I’m no longer the “young adult”. I still can’t exhale. I’m still scared. When he was first born, to the oft asked “How is he? How is motherhood?” I would reply, “Still alive,” not because he had any history of disease, but because it was my new mantra and let’s be honest, many an African violet and bamboo plant have expired in my care. And now I had a human?!?!
I’ve never met an adult who regretted learning to play an instrument. Instead, time after time I hear from adults who wish they had been given the gift of early musicianship- children soak up new skills like this in a way that adults only dream of! So what is the best time to start our children on a musical journey? In fact, beginning musical learning and music literacy development right at babyhood prepares our child for the most success as they grow.
WAHM/D, SAHM/D, Work out of the home or other?
I am currently a WAHM – Of course, I write for my own blog RefinedImperfection.ca and I also do freelance writing for a variety of businesses and parenting websites. I also run a little business called, ‘Ready, Set, Glide!’.
# of Kids? Ages?
I have 2 kids…a set of boy/girl twins who are turning 7-years old this month.
I remember my Mom picking me up from school and on the way home she would sing her heart out to Whitney Houston, Bonnie Rait, or Etta James.
I remember listening to her practicing for gigs in the basement, her voice would fill the house. I remember watching her play shows and perform in musicals, she was and is captivating.
I was simultaneously drawn to singing and annoyed by it. I was in absolute awe of her but a part of me wanted to rebel which I imagine a lot of people can relate to. You look up to your parents but you want to find your own path in the world.
My Mom gave me a guitar when I was a teenager. She started playing when she was 12 years old – it was everything to her and she wanted the same for me. I opened the gift and was disappointed. That was not what I wanted so I ended up selling it to my little cousin. Most likely I spent the money on clothes at the mall. Ugh. I cringe at this memory.
The moment we found out I was pregnant was the moment I knew my life would be complete. I knew you were the missing piece to our family puzzle. You were the last member of our already amazing team and you would be the best friend your sister was searching for. A baby boy was what we needed in our home.
I have to admit, I was terrified to have a second child. I was already past the baby stage with your sister and the thought of starting over was scary. I had finally started sleeping and being able to refocus on myself. I couldn’t possibly imagine loving another child the way I loved your sister. Would I even have love to give you? Also, I was totally clueless about raising a boy! I only had a sister, most of my cousins were girls and I just had so little experience with baby boys. All these fears flooded my mind. What do I do about changing him? What do baby boys even play with? Will I be able to relate to him? How will I be able to raise a son that is brave but kind, a leader with compassion, motivated but tolerant? Perhaps these fears seem so trivial now, but they were very real at the time.
WAHM/D, SAHM/D, Work out of the home or other?
I run a home-based business from before I had kids – so when I had kids I guess that made me a ‘WAHM’ too! I have contracts all over the city so I’m on the move a lot.
# of Kids? Ages?
2 girls aged 6 and 9. Lots of drama around our place!
What movie makes you cry?
The Notebook gets me every time.
Tell us about a mom/dad who inspires you?
I am inspired by so many parents I just can’t name one. I think that everyone has their own style and mantra when it comes to raising children and I’m always learning from all the moms & dads around me!
What’s the fondest memory you have of your life as a mom/dad so far? The biggest challenge?
My fondest memories so far are travelling with my children. When we are away from home we connect so much more as a family – no distractions, just each other and the adventures before us!
The biggest challenges – well there are many. I found it tough to transition to being a mom after being a professional, highly driven woman in the workforce. It was hard to step out of working full time and being programmed to achieve high standards all the time. I also feel like I had no idea what I was doing half the time when it comes to raising children. I’m just ‘winging it’ and that is an uncomfortable space for me to be in! Also, raising little girls that are like me is the biggest challenge of all! Yeesh!
Would you rather be able to see 10 minutes into your own future or 10 minutes into the future of anyone but yourself? Why?
I would prefer to see 10 minutes into the future of someone else. I’d rather it be a surprise for myself.
You and your oldest child switch bodies for an hour. What do they do? What do you do?
I would love to feel what it’s like to be such a beautiful, strong dancer and gymnast and move in her body. When I was growing up I was not a strong or fit child and I was quite awkward. My daughter is like a swan, I love to watch her do what she loves. If she switched to my body she’d probably see how my mind is going a million miles a minute and then long to have her own life back – maybe she’ll appreciate more of how easy it is to be a kid!
Welcome to a new feature on AlbertaMamas.com! Collectively, one of our big passions is giving back, and we know many of our readers feel the same. So, we’ve created the Charity Spotlight, a place where we will be posting information about Alberta based charities and how to get involved! Up this month, the Edmonton based Weehelp Foundation.